Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Somedays It's Hard To Walk

Not sure if I walked or crawled today. Still thinking and pondering on it...the day that is...and of course it is not over just yet. I originally wanted to lighten the mood and write something funny today. At least that was my plan this morning. But life happened to occur earlier than it usually does and well like so many other times...my MOOD changed!!! So yesterday I asked my hubby about his prayer needs or requests. Who knew that was going to lead to a fight. So he thinks and says..."well just that the unemployment payment is the same this week and everything works out like they said it would." Repeat! What???? He had spoken to me two or three days before and had given me all the details(or so I thought) regarding the unemployment benefit payments. During that previous conversation I was told that everything was fine for this week and although the money would be tight, we would still have enough to pay the mortgage payment. In my mind I had tossed that little heavy worry to the side and had trusted in him that everything was ok because he said it was. Mistake! So this morning I checked the bank account and of course he did not even come near in getting his normal amount of benefits. Thus; not enough money for the mortgage payment. Now this is nothing new as far as not having enough money. But he just signed papers (last week) with the mortgage company saying he would make our payments on time and in full or forfeit the house to foreclosure. Anyways so I blew it yesterday and today gets no better. The tension in the house was way high this morning. So I did not even ask about a prayer request. He's totally depressed and begins to mope around. This makes me so want to puke. So then I'm staring at this list of prayer items I am to pray for regarding my husband and guess what is number one, two, and three and the list??? Pray for his wife, his work and his finances! Oh are you serious? Me Pray for me!...Well as you can imagine...and even if you can not....I was none too successful with that task either. I did however, stop in my tracks and pray for my husband as he was in the process of learning a very Biblical lesson and he was hurting. (2 Thessalonians 3:10) Well I tried to at least but my heart was not into it. Then the rest of today my heart has ached and my conscience nagged at me because I could not force my self to pray. So today I crawled with the Lord. Ever so slowly I died to self and my MOOD changed. I then opened up to my husband and shared my feelings about a difficult situation I am dealing with regarding some of my women friends. Well..........would you believe? He suggested that I pray about it before approaching the situation and speaking up about my hurt feelings. Yes you read that right! He suggested I pray! I was so proud of him I about peed my pants, but then if I had I would have just added to my own laundry pile so why bother!!! Which leads me to two things: 1. It's OK to crawl! 2. This scripture; Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And now that I am done crawling for the day I think I shall end it with some peaceful sleep as I go to the Father in prayer....

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