Friday, July 30, 2010
Early on in my relationship with my husband I use to spend hours talking to him. When I was unable to talk with him in person during college breaks and Holidays; I use to spend hours and days writing him letters. Even when we were at college but were busy with work or studies, I would email him long emails. I got to thinking the other day about how long it had been since I had wrote him a letter. No not a "Honey Do" list but a real letter. How long has it been since you wrote your husband a letter? How about a little love note? Yeah me neither! I did get him a very nice anniversary card a couple of weeks back that was very beautifully written. He got me a humorous one about wanting "hot-sex" or something of that nature. OK - so each letter was suppose to stand for something and it really was not about that, but all I read was the "hot-sex" part and laid the card down and tried my best not to cry or complain. I was hurt but did my best to hide it. After all; 10 years is a big milestone! It should be something special. From our anniversary on there have been some very difficult days. I totally tossed the whole idea of trying to save this mess right out the door and then some. And then I got to thinking about the whole letter writing thing after a Bible study I attended this week. Not just in reference to my marriage either. 2 Corinthians 2-3 reads "You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts. Yes read that again....Let that sink in a moment. Take a long moment if necessary. ............YOU are a letter from Christ!.....I am a letter from Christ!....And my next thought was where is the White-Out ??? I got a few type-Os's!!!!OK so lots of them. Seriously I did think that. I wrote it on a piece of scrap paper right next to me during the Bible study. Now process that some more....what have you been etching on your husbands heart? How about your children? Your neighbors? Your friends? Co-workers? Extended family? What message have you been carrying around? And then I went one more step... I was already crying why not?....Hmmm? No wonder some people tend to run screaming from us Christians in discomfort, fear, or disgust. To think we really piss some people off. Someone apparently had no clue that they were a letter from the King and apparently did not give thorough thought or consideration to the message they were sending. So be mindful of your message and above all else seal it with Love.....After all there is no eraser for what is etched on a human heart...well technically there is.......and his name is Jesus. And He works way better than white-out!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Is your husband your priority? Is he even on your list? Umm? No I thought I was suppose to be caring for the kids and our home! Well, yes you are but who's caring for him? So this weeks marriage challenge was for me to list some things I do for him or the family or just around the home in general and then have him rank them according to what is most important to him and his needs. In other words how does he think I should go about my day and continue to meet all of his needs. My first problem was....OK so what do I really do for him? Not much anymore...There are lots of things I use to do. But now he's lucky if I acknowledge that he exist. Now realising this was a bit painful to me. Where did it ever go so wrong? Not sure. Took me a while I finally came up with a list of 10 things. The hard part was not in coming up with things I do but in things I specifically do just for him. Seriously, think on this. Are you putting him first and his needs first? Then you should have no problem making your list. I listed things like: Having "relations" with him, mending his clothes, caring for the children, home schooling, cleaning house, laundry, dishes, calling him during the day to check on him via his cell phone, studying my Bible, and saving him money w/coupons. Guess what? He no where near listed these items in the order that I did. I have been busting my tail off for about 6 weeks now trying to get a handle on the household duties and be a better housewife. I have virtually tried to take back over my home domain so to speak. It's all mine within the inside of the home. Well, I have learned I'm not so talented as I thought. For 10 years I have said 50/50 or else. Now I have embarked on a different adventure and I think it may take me a while to work on it. After all the Proverbs 31 women was just a Mother-In-Laws to-be's dream and not a reality. An ideal type of women to strive to become or as in the case of scriptures to find and marry. So to say that I am struggling to get it all done is an understatement. But I have not failed my any means either. I'm just not satisfied. And then he goes and lists mending clothes, laundry, dishes, and having a warm meal ready for him when he gets home as the last 4 items on the 10 item list! WHAT??? This also lead to a more detail conversation about some other things he needed that were missing. Really they were things that I have stopped doing like showing or giving little tokens of my appreciation ( I thought I gave him 3 (kids)and that was enough!) Funny I was thinking I needed to put my home in order and then perhaps that would help my marriage. I'm beginning to think perhaps I need to make my husband my priority and not the home and the children. I wonder if this is where it went wrong to begin with. Now of course my relationship with God is foremost in my mind, but after that.....Hmmm? Yep, I got lots of work to do. How about you? Is your man your priority? Are you meeting his needs? Yes, yes, yes you have needs too...TOTALLY understand you there...we'll get to that in another post. For further scripture reading on the kind of women God designed you to be and for some marriage guidelines read Titus 2 and 3; Colossians 3; and of course Proverbs 31. No where is it written you have to be a doormat or be abused. And these guidelines also apply if you work outside of the home. If you do read about the "Proverbs 31" women then you will see that she by far worked out side the home as well. I'm not pointing it out I want you to find it!!!! Oh and by the way....my hubby listed "being" with me as number 3! Just in case anyone was wondering...Yeah I know TMI!!!!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
OK so enough crawling already...rise up and .....Yep that's about the place where I have to insert something other than what I am doing? I am one very hurting and angry women. Do you ever feel this way? So I am confessing here. I carry my anger with my husband way too far sometimes. I go crazy and just knock him right up the side of the head WACK!!!! And oh yes it feels so GOOD!!!! I want nothing more than to be a fruitful vine within my home (Psalm 127:3). Truly! I pray and wish and dream of this wonderful marriage and family! And then I wake up to reality. Sure I am blessed in many ways. I have a husband. I have 3 beautiful children. But ....(Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. I am getting seriously tired of laboring in vain. Now notice that reads builders as in two at the least! I assume as the children grow and contribute they too can build. Gods' design is for both the man and the women to build the home; ideally with the man in the lead. I'm here in the home cooking, cleaning, canning , freezing, changing diapers, home schooling the girls, meal planning, mending his shirts, performing minor surgery on beloved stuffed animals and so forth. And just exactly what is he doing? Oh and I am trying, but struggling my way through a summer long challenge in "Completing Him"! Complete him...What ? There I go again ...Yeah so I am suppose to complete him...sounds like a line from a movie! But you have got to be kidding me.....as I have said in previous posts; I am doing well just to let him live! However, the truth is that yes I am to be his helpmate and should complete him. You do remember I also said the Bible is my standard. So what does the Bible say? Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above not on earthly things. And yes here it comes....Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Hold it...hang on did you catch that?....as is fitting in the Lord. Hmmm? True, it does mean that as a wife I should submit to my husbands leadership. But it also means that I am to submit only to those things that are fitting in the sight of the Lord. Think on that a bit. I'm not talking be a doormat or a punching bag. That would not be fitting in the Lord. But it does mean to Love your husband even in spite of himself. But mostly keep trying to love your self. Because you know he's not going to remember too!!!!!So let me encourage you to stop crawling, rise up and.....Love your husbands! And Lord could you show me the way?????
Friday, July 2, 2010
Sorry for no posts the past couple of days. The family and I came down with a virus. I think it's kind of funny that I mentioned crawling in my last post. Fortunately, none of us had to crawl. But there was a lot of running to the restroom! So ...while I was a bit under weather I have continued my very slow read through the Book of Psalm. I am currently reading Psalm 119. This is just from my personal reading time which I try to do daily but sometimes I am studying some particular point out and I spend so much time on that point that I do not get my personal reading time in. Other times I choose to spend a day or so reflecting on my readings. And I will admit there are those times that I allow life to get between me and His word. Sadly it does happen and it is usually on those days that I am feeling overwhelmingly unworthy to come before the Father. But that topic is for another day...Back to the virus. So I am reading Psalm 119 and I get to verse 73; Your hands have made me and formed me; give me understanding to learning your commands. Wow! How much do you love something you make and form with your own hands? Yep that's how much we are loved by Him! Alas, still not my point! But a great verse none the less. Then comes verse 74; May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word. Oh my! Lets break that down. The first part of the verse refers to those who fear the Lord. When is the first time you ever met a Christian? No not just any old Christian but one of those Christian NUTS!!!! Yeh you know them. Now what kind of feeling did you get in your stomach the momment you realized they were NUTS?. Yep there it is ...VIRUS!!!! Seriously perhaps it was before you were of the Christian faith. Perhaps you are not a Christian yet. Perhaps you are a new Christain and still get "that" feeling. Now think what do you do when someone knocks on your door and you see that it is two young men dressed in black slacks,white shirt and black tie? Oh yes you do...You RUN! Oh no I am not at home!!! What's the feeling...Virus!!! Even better it's too late to run you have been spotted so now you make up some excuse not to have a little visit. You know you do it. I do it. So what is it we really fear? Surely it is not the little old lady from your church that just spotted you in the middle of Wal-Mart!!! No It's JESUS! You are afraid of HIM. You are afraid of HIS words. No...more so you are afraid of HIS ways. Part 2 of the verse is rejoice when they see me. So how do you think God feels about you running from Him. Well ... He does not want you to fear Him but to rejoice! Do people see Jesus in you? Do they see His ways at work in you and through you? The final part states; for I have put my hope in your word. Are you a person of His word? Honestly I have read this verse a dozen times now and each time I get a different set of goose bumps! But here's the deal this is eactly how I want the world to feel about me. When you see Michelle I want you to see Him and rejoice! I want to put my mind not only into the reading of His word, but to place all my hope into His hands. When you see me I do not want you to run. (Unless it is to run towards me and give me a hug. Because I like me some hugs!) Not only that but If I am wearing my "Christian-ness" correctly according to the Bible as my standard. Well then you should never feel the need to barf or divert and run. Because you see it is my ultimate goal to not only go and be with my Father someday but to also have the Master say ....Well done, good and faithful servant.Oh! and daughter you put just the right amount of salt in it!!!!(Matthew 25:21; Colossians 4:6)...MP