Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Is Your Husband Your Priority?
Is your husband your priority? Is he even on your list? Umm? No I thought I was suppose to be caring for the kids and our home! Well, yes you are but who's caring for him? So this weeks marriage challenge was for me to list some things I do for him or the family or just around the home in general and then have him rank them according to what is most important to him and his needs. In other words how does he think I should go about my day and continue to meet all of his needs. My first problem was....OK so what do I really do for him? Not much anymore...There are lots of things I use to do. But now he's lucky if I acknowledge that he exist. Now realising this was a bit painful to me. Where did it ever go so wrong? Not sure. Took me a while I finally came up with a list of 10 things. The hard part was not in coming up with things I do but in things I specifically do just for him. Seriously, think on this. Are you putting him first and his needs first? Then you should have no problem making your list. I listed things like: Having "relations" with him, mending his clothes, caring for the children, home schooling, cleaning house, laundry, dishes, calling him during the day to check on him via his cell phone, studying my Bible, and saving him money w/coupons. Guess what? He no where near listed these items in the order that I did. I have been busting my tail off for about 6 weeks now trying to get a handle on the household duties and be a better housewife. I have virtually tried to take back over my home domain so to speak. It's all mine within the inside of the home. Well, I have learned I'm not so talented as I thought. For 10 years I have said 50/50 or else. Now I have embarked on a different adventure and I think it may take me a while to work on it. After all the Proverbs 31 women was just a Mother-In-Laws to-be's dream and not a reality. An ideal type of women to strive to become or as in the case of scriptures to find and marry. So to say that I am struggling to get it all done is an understatement. But I have not failed my any means either. I'm just not satisfied. And then he goes and lists mending clothes, laundry, dishes, and having a warm meal ready for him when he gets home as the last 4 items on the 10 item list! WHAT??? This also lead to a more detail conversation about some other things he needed that were missing. Really they were things that I have stopped doing like showing or giving little tokens of my appreciation ( I thought I gave him 3 (kids)and that was enough!) Funny I was thinking I needed to put my home in order and then perhaps that would help my marriage. I'm beginning to think perhaps I need to make my husband my priority and not the home and the children. I wonder if this is where it went wrong to begin with. Now of course my relationship with God is foremost in my mind, but after that.....Hmmm? Yep, I got lots of work to do. How about you? Is your man your priority? Are you meeting his needs? Yes, yes, yes you have needs too...TOTALLY understand you there...we'll get to that in another post. For further scripture reading on the kind of women God designed you to be and for some marriage guidelines read Titus 2 and 3; Colossians 3; and of course Proverbs 31. No where is it written you have to be a doormat or be abused. And these guidelines also apply if you work outside of the home. If you do read about the "Proverbs 31" women then you will see that she by far worked out side the home as well. I'm not pointing it out I want you to find it!!!! Oh and by the way....my hubby listed "being" with me as number 3! Just in case anyone was wondering...Yeah I know TMI!!!!